What’s in a Relationship Status?
Posted by Mel Kirk in Our thoughts. Post a comment (8)
The new generation of the web has arrived – the Facebook era if you will.
Friends stay connected across the world on it. Technology is made for it (why do you think there was so much excitement about the front camera on the iPhone 4?). More time is spent filming gigs than watching, to post on it. Jobs are offered and lost on it. Our lives are lived through it.
Therefore when it’s become such an integrated part of our everyday lives, it comes as no wonder that there are still questions over the whole etiquette of using it. Do you really want to accept that next door neighbour that you’ve never really liked and risk them knowing you’ve given them limited access or worse still offend them by not accepting at all? How do you go around telling someone you can’t attend their event without appearing harshly in the ‘no’ section? How do you respond to a poking when the last thing you want to do is poke someone back and then of course there’s the whole dodgy ground of friendship culls.
All of these are topics can be swerved without causing Facebook fatalities but one of the most common issues that tends not to bode as well is that of the relationship status update. You’ve been happily in a relationship for a matter of months or even a year and then up rears the topic of “do you think we should update our status?”. All of a sudden sound of tumble weed appears. Pulses rise. Mouths dry and so the discussion begins.
As a subject that generally the sexes never agree on, “venus” and “mars” have never been more apparent. For guys, the whole thing is trivial, why does it matter as long as you’re happy together? As private creatures, why the need to announce it to the world and run the risk of the status being changed every 5 minutes?… but that’s exactly why it’s important to girls.
To us girls, when we’ve found a guy that we actually like (trust me, we don’t update our status for ANY of the random male species) we’re proud and want to show our guy off to the world. We think his profile picture is cute and want to show our friends that we’ve bagged a hottie. We want to see that little heart appear in their feed and we want to be congratulated on the cheesy grin that’s permanently on their face. We don’t want to be presented with the thought you think it might not last and you won’t want the sad little broken heart appearing.
When girls are told that their guy is happy for them to update their status but they don’t plan on doing the same – our minds go into overdrive… What’s to hide? Who don’t they want to know? Are they ashamed? This seems to be a matter that the masses continue to battle with and appears to have no easy answer.
So, the question is, in a world where we’re living our lives more and more openly online, will there always be fundamental differences in the level of privacy girls and guys find comfortable or do guys never leave the “in an open relationship” status?
The comments section exists for a reason – I’d love to hear your thoughts, so don’t be shy. I don’t bite and promise not to throw stones (even if you are a boy!).
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We'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment (8)
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mel Kirk and Francesca Heath, Global Personals. Global Personals said: What's in a Facebook relationship status? http://bit.ly/9U3Rm5 [...] Posted by Tweets that mention global personals » What’s in a Relationship Status? -- Topsy.com on July 20, 2010
Facebook relationship status is now the way to tell everyone you are "exclusive" or officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Men are all different believe it or not and many friends of mine hate having to tell the world they are in a relationship, too many people will have access to you and know things before you have even met them. So many people form an opinion over a limited social network profile! Other guys will want to tell the world about their new girlfriend if he is "punching above his weight". Relationship status' are too open and causes more relationship headaches. As a close friend said recently...."Facebook is the relationship devil" Posted by Danny D on July 20, 2010
Great article, always an interesting subject. When someone refuses to change their relationship status on facebook with you it's hard not to wonder why. I think that applys as much to men as it does to women. If you're turley happy with someone, you want to show them off at every opportunity - i can't see any reason why someone would want to not make that update. I guess it depends on the person, but as you said women like that sort of thing, so when it's the woman who doesn't want to change it - that makes for an even more worrying situation for the other person. The very nature of Facebook, talking to people etc, raises interesting situations within relationships, issues around jealousy and the fact that you don't know who your partner is talking to, or what they are talking about - This of course, only applys if you don't wholy trust your partner, which is what i think it fundimentily comes down to - Is not updating your facebook status a reason not to trust someone? Posted by Tom on July 20, 2010
It's survival of the species I'm afraid. Females need to find & hold onto someone who will love them, nurture them, buy them flowers while males need to ensure that their genes get carried into the next generation via as many females as possible. The female changes her FB status, the male just keeps looking for another opportunity to spread his genes. Posted by Ivor on July 20, 2010
It is a fact that brains differ between the genders. Men have a large SPACE between the right and left hemisphere...most women seem to have a natural knack and keen ability to effectively communicate their thoughts and ideas. In addition to this, intuition is also enhanced in this particular gender. Men seem to have more complications with communicative interaction....A lack of being able to comprehend and communicate a status is all down to the science... Posted by Laura on July 20, 2010
This is one of the many reasons why I will never use Facebook, its just giving out stuff or not as the case may be, which can be construed in too many different ways. I don't get it, why the explanations for some to see? Talk to people and leave blogs about hobbies or rants. For me, the personal stuff is, well, personal. Posted by David on July 20, 2010
Danny - Whilst in love with social networks (they really are the other part to my life!) I completely get where you're coming from with that. Tom - I guess I never looked at it the other way around. I think you're right though - it all comes down to how secure you are in a relationship. Ivor - This is what I feared :D Laura - So to sum up, girls rock? ;) David - I think for all of it's positives, it's worthwhile for me, but it's interesting that years down the line, there are still topics that everyone is struggling with. Posted by Mel Kirk on July 20, 2010
Mel, it's not as bad as all that. However I do find it worrying that so many people use the Internet to find their mate - what's wrong with 02:00 am in Tesco or ASDA I ask myself? Posted by Ivor on July 20, 2010
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